


Gilderoy Lockhart and the Minister Position

by BlueFloyd



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Political RPF - France 21st c.
Genre: (look it up), Abstention Kedavra, Alternate Universe - French Politics setting, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Centrism is Might, Dumbledore's Army, Ex Pelliarmus !, Gen, Harry Potter and the Solutré stone, Manuel Valls would be an excellent Peter Pettigrew, Of course Christiane Taubira is Hermione, The Chambers of Commons has been opened, [Untranslatable puns]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFloyd/pseuds/BlueFloyd
Summary: Let’s review the story of the youngest Minister of Magic ever elected, the wizard who defeated Lord Voldemort, The-Man-Who-Fought, Gilderoy Lockhart.(Translation of Gilderoy Lockhart et les ors du pouvoir)





	Gilderoy Lockhart and the Minister Position

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Gilderoy Lockhart et les ors du pouvoir](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916796) by [BlueFloyd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFloyd/pseuds/BlueFloyd). 



> I was a bit sad that the only english-written French Politics fanfic was hagiographic of our new president, so I decided to self-translate (with a little help from my friends, Beatrice_Sank and LittleBear)

« And I love you fiercely, friends » These touching words closed the inaugural speech of our new Minister of Magic. And now Rita , let’s review the skyrocketing ascension of Gilderoy, unknown from the public two years ago and now our youngest Minister of Magic to date!

\- Totally David, let’s go back to this amazing story, and let’s do so with the great documentary “Gilderoy, The Man Behind The Legend”, shot for the Daily Prophet by Milicent Bulstrode and Mundugus Fletcher.

[FADE TO BLACK] 

Gilderoy Lockhart came to life in 19 7 7 at Hogsmeade, from two loving parents working as Medimages at Saint-Mungo. Gilderoy’s childhood is quite uneventful, being raised in a small all-wizard village. Like every british wizard, he enters Hogwarts on his eleventh year. The Sorting Hat sends him to Ravenclaw, where he rapidly finds  his place among his fellow students. He’s a good student, talented in all Wand Classes, and especially in Charms, where he is at the top of his class every year.

But these uneventful school years take an unexpected turn during his third year. Young Gilderoy chooses divination as an optional course. He’s interested in the art, but  soon  his teacher, Sybill Trelawney,  catches his eye . And she’s interested back, charmed by the brilliant young wizard. They keep it platonic and try to keep it low profile as well, but to no avail. Their love is disclosed,  triggering a scandal. Gilderoy’s parents think about getting him out of Hogwarts and into Beauxbâtons. He begs them not to, and they concede. But no more divination classes for him. He receives private lessons from one of the members of the centaur community living in the Forbidden Forest.

The lovebirds agree to watching each other from afar, but their love stays as strong as ever. When Gilderoy turns 17, he moves into Sybill’s apartment. It gives him a great and stable framework to study for his NEWTs. He then joins the Ministry of Magic as a Numismage, before he’s hired at Gringotts, where he works for a few years. In both the public and the private sector, Gilderoy is remembered as an excellent element, very competent and appreciated fondly by his colleagues. But this extraordinary man cannot be fulfilled by the routine of office work. He starts travelling around the world, in order to meet the most dangerous magical creatures, as Newt Scamander – for whom he worked as an assistant  by the end of his  school years – once did. The books  he recall s his adventures  into  are shared at first only by the happy few, the elective community of Fantastic Beasts geeks. But soon, the public gets  a hold of them and falls in love with the straightforward style and the fearless adventures of the young prodigy. 

In less than a year, all of Britain knows the name of the dashing wizard that  turns everything he touches into gold. But while all Britain’s eyes are turned to the international adventures of Gilderoy Lockhart, the darkest of threats rises from the depths of rural England. Voldemort, the Dark Lord defeated in 2002, is reborn. A heinous campaign starts, where fear and hatred of Muggles and half-bloods are instrumentalized. As if it wasn’t enough, yet another form of extremism rises in reaction, Dumbledore’s Army. They fight violence with violence and threaten to plunge all of Magical Britain into chaos with their scare tactics, wildly accusing the Ministry of Magic of being responsible of Voldemort’s return by promoting the same exclusions and hatred poli c ies.

Seeing these two perils threatening Magical Britain, Gilderoy cannot let them go by. He quickly comes back to Britain to put his powers and capacities to the service of his country. He soon assembles a team of young and competent wizards. Instead of using the Aurors’ usual methods to fight the Dark Arts, Gilderoy chooses to disrupt the Defense Against the Dark Arts tactics. He does not hesitate to leak to the media the time and place of his fights against rogue wizards. His campaign turns out to be very popular. His response team is nicknamed “Ex Pelliarmus!”. Some Aurors join him, declaring that Scrimgeour and his “Basilisk Income” strategy were no longer able to efficiently lead the fight against Black Magic. Lucius Malfoy, advocating for the Ministry implementing some measure of discrimination policy in order to appease Voldemort and his Deatheaters, doesn’t convince either: the Wizenmagot chief’s message is made inaudible by revelations that his wife Narcissa was on the Wizenmagot payroll without performing any actual job and that he accepted luxury robes as a gift from a French wizard.

And so it comes that Gilderoy Lockhart is the only wizard able to stop Deatheaters. On April the 23 rd , a first battle takes place between the different factions. It goes on for a day. Around 7pm, it appears that the only two factions still standing are Ex Pelliarmus! and unfortunately, the Deatheaters. Rufus Scrimgeour acknowledges that his strategy doesn’t work and joins forces with Lockhart. Malfoy rallies Ex Pelliarmus! a short time after. Significantly, Harry Potter and the rest of Dumbledore’s Army flat out refuse to join forces. They denounce Gilderoy as an impostor doing nothing to actually fight Dark Art. A few people join on their own, but even after several exhortations to come to their senses and help winning the fight, the whole movement still won’t join. This despicable move shows the true face of Dumbledore’s Army, only preoccupied with its own glory and not caring a bit for the fate of Magical Britain.

The first battle has been terrible, but the foul beast is not defeated yet. All of Britain knows a second showdown will soon take place, and holds its collective breath. It finally happens on the 8th of May. The Deatheaters Front versus the Ex Pelliarmus! coalition. The battle rages on for the whole day once again, on Hogwarts grounds. Most of the combats are hidden by the fog of war conjured by so many intertwined hexes, but still, Dumbledore’s Army’s claims that Harry Potter was on site and that the victory over Deatheaters is their doing is ludicrous. What *is* established is that at the end of the day, Gilderoy Lockhart came out of the Forbidden Forest, Voldemort’s wand in his hand. Hatred was vanquished, thanks to the will of one man. The whole world cheered. He was thought of for Scrimgeour’s former job as Head of Aurors. But it soon became obvious that Minister of Magic was the only post worth of him. He symbolized hope and renewal, two things Magical Britain needed badly. The election was a formality, and since this afternoon he’s beenthe sitting Minister of Magic. Only 39 and already at the top of Britain’s politics. Everything seems to smile to Gilderoy Lockhart. Of course the task ahead is huge, but who other than him could overcome it? Now he must appoint a new Head of Aurors and give us his vision for disrupting and refounding the workflow of the Ministry. We are about to live a very exciting and enthusiasming term or – one can only hope – terms. 

Who could be a better Minister than The-Man-Who-Fought? We couldn’t be happier. 


End file.
